I hope that spiderman was daniel radcliffe
Learn foolproof seduction techniques in THE THRILLING SEQUEL!
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Machine Gun Kellys
written by Kevin Panetta
Drawn by Brooke A. Allen
This is my actual favorite thing.
"You like anything with girls beating up dudes" they tell me and I say "yes"
a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first
It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.
1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him. It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake. Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you.
Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.
2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward. Twist, swing, twist, swing.
Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong. Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.
3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.
Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober. “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.” Steve looks over. “The one in the red dress? That’s Miss Carter.” You decide you need another drink.
4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that). On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.
Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base. “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?” You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.
5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle. The left side always belongs to Steve.
Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire. You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket. “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter. “You read this yet? They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”
Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures
After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:
A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs. However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.
B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.
C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information. However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.
D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized. This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.
After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.
[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic]
This is perfect, and the thing I’ve been trying to think of how to write but so much better
So I emailed one of my previous instructors, who is going for a doctorate right now, to see if she could offer any advice about graduate school. I feel a lot better for having talked to her, so if anyone else is worrying about grad school too right now, here’s the meat of it
When I applied for…
How can a teacher get mad at you for being late if a staircase changes direction while you’re in the middle of it?? There’s no tellin’ where it leaves you, and Hogwarts is a giant castle..
#I can just imagine Sirius & James #running late for their first class #when suddenly #the staircase changes direction #Sirius’ telling James #that they should just skip class #because the staircase said so #and so they toured the castle #when suddenly #they saw a boy #who has light brown hair and scars cutting across his face #running towards them #asking which direction the Potions Class is being taught #James’ being all confident says #it’s this way, come, we’ll guide you #while Sirius is hiding his grin #because really #it’s their first day #how would they memorize all the passageways in just one night #and so all day they circled around the castle #getting lost #finding their way back #discovering secret passages #all the while sealing a bond of friendship that will never break
the tags made me cry
This was the sneakiest blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot.
Oooh the shield is next to the bed, bottom corner right, NICE ONE.
I’m just in love with the idea that you just KNOW so many fucking people volunteered to go look for it and dove into that water. That shield is so important, not only to the public but also to STEVE. I knew that it was in this scene but to have it confirmed and how it’s lovingly facing outward from his bed, at his side. It’s Sam, Steve and then the trusty shield.
I don’t care what anyone says THAT SHIELD HOLDS A PART OF STEVE’S SOUL.
The shield is so important in terms of continuity. Not the kind of continuity that has to do with “hey Marvel when exactly is Bucky’s birthday” (…) but the continuity that has to do with an object’s shape in time & story. What separates an original from a perfect reproduction is the shape it has in these dimensions, dimensions that we can’t see or test for: the original, and not the reproduction, has been touched by certain hands; the original has undergone a certain journey.
And the shield has gone through its journey with Steve. It was made by Howard; it was tested by Peggy; Bucky held it in his hands before he fell from the train. And that continuity is important, in a world where very few things have that continuity for Steve. His plane crashed in a world where this wasn’t an issue. There were so many things that bore this kind of trace. Whole rooms where he’d worked with Peggy and Howard and the Commandos: a map they’d drawn, a battered table, a chair that creaked. A half-read comic book, a coffee cup, a handwritten note. And with Bucky: a whole landscape written on New York. The newsstands where they knew the owners, those oh-so-famous alleys, the curtains Bucky’s mother hung in the windows. Just— gone. Nothing. No wonder Steve goes to the Smithsonian.
But he has the shield, to which so much of that past is attached. Which makes it a very powerful thing.
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
The design revisions were:
- Strategic cut-outs shape to fit fingers in such a way that it is easy to bend them and not disrupt the bandage.
- An intelligent dressing material allows you to regularly check wounds from the outside, without upsetting the healing process.“According to research, the when an infection of a wound is detected, the pH value is between 6.5 and 8.5. AmoeBAND’s indicator cross turns purple, alerting the user needs to change it immediately.”
- Since the bandage material used exudes a leather-like feel, availability in different skin-tones helps it blend in, without overly highlighting the injury.
- The packaging has been redesigned to a matchbox style and includes Braille instructions.
Hat tip to designers Tay Pek-Khai, Hsu Hao-Ming, Tsai Cheng-Yu, Chen Kuei-Yuan, Chen Yi-Ting, Lai Jen-Hao, Ho Chia-Ying, Chen Ying-shan, Weng Yu-Ching and Chung Kuo-Ting
I FUCKING NEED THIS